A Mix of Emotions

Today was the first day back to school for Axl after the long Christmas break. We haven't talked much about it, because I didn't want him to dwell on what he viewed as doom's day. Secretly, I have been counting down the days, on the verge of counting hours. I've missed my quiet mornings at home alone, not hearing my name yelled down the hall. This was to be my special morning. I could see it in my mind;  me, my Pepsi, my words and nothing else. For days it's been like a mirage calling my name, a beautiful vision glowing and shimmering, and now it's finally here.

I cannot tell a lie, it has been good. I have gotten so many wonderful things done, so many complete, uninterrupted thoughts have found their way into the inner confines of my brain and each one has been welcomed like a long lost friend. But, there's more here than I had envisioned. There's also a sadness that today I won't have "hug downs." I won't have a scrawny little fellow crawl up in my lap and say, "I need some lovin'" before he's off again to man the battle raging between the cowboys and indians. There'll be no games of Old Maid, or Batman Movie marathons, and there will be no one screaming my name simply because they need to know I'm still close by - not for a few more hours anyway.

Oh it won't take long for me to be counting down the hours until bedtime, but in the meantime I miss little Ax. My heart is swollen with gratefulness that Jesus has blessed me with this healthy little man whom I adore and have the privilege of raising to be a mighty man of God.

Lysa Terkeurst, an amazing speaker and powerful woman of God, posted on her blog this daily prayer for her children. I have adopted it as well. One day, if I can get Axl's permission,  I will share the heart-warming, hilarious events that have unfolded because of it. It goes like this:

1. God, make this child one of the most godly people of their generation.

2. God, let them get caught when they make wrong choices.

3. God, save them from the wrong friends and the wrong mate, so they may be saved for the right friends and the right mate. 


This is quoted directly from Lysa's blog, which I highly recommend. You can get there from this page. Visit it and visit it often.

With Much Love

Tonya