Tuesday Tunes: Christmas

In keeping with the spirit of Christmas, let’s talk Christmas Carols. My iPod is chocked full of Christmas tunes.

6 different versions of The First Noel, Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful, and Away in a Manger.

5 Frosty the Snowman’s and 4 versions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Over 10 hours of Christmas music in all.

I have everything from Shirley Temple’s, “I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas” to Nat King Cole’s, “The Christmas Song.” My favorites right now are The Statler Brother’s version of “Old Toy Trains,” Sara Evans’ “O Come All Ye Faithful,” and “Hard Candy Christmas” by Dolly Parton.

“Old Toy Trains” reminds of my sister and her annual high school show choir Christmas Concert. We would go each year long after her high school days were over, and they were still putting on the same show. I literally cried when they retired the routines that they had used for far too many years.

“O Come All Ye Faithful” reminds me of the road trips I would take with my best friend Shannon. Sara Evans’ version was on the Country Christmas 1999 CD, and we fell in love with it. We would listen to it all year long, singing at the top of our lungs, convinced we were blending right in with the award-winning singer. We were such nerds. Andy Griffith’s gospel CD and the soundtrack to the Wizard of Oz were also staples in our cross-country sing a longs. A few years ago I lost my ’99 CD. I was devastated, but finally found it on ebay. Apparently it was a lot of people’s favorite, because it ended up going for around $40. Listen to her sing that song and you’ll know it was well worth it. For the record, you can get a used one right now on Amazon $0.93.

“Hard Candy Christmas” is just good stuff, and Dolly Parton singing anything makes me happy.

What’s your favorite Christmas song? Whose version is the best? Why? Click on comments and let me know. I am always up for adding one more version of a classic carol.

Mom's Monday Musings: Season of Generosity

The Christmas season has officially begun, and with it the season of giving. Giving truly is better than receiving when the motivation behind the gift is from an overflow of love. There is tremendous joy in witnessing the expression of excitement on the face of a grateful recipient, one who understands, appreciates, and accepts the love that is offered in a well thought out gift. As the “To Buy For” list grows, my heart swells, because I am reminded of the relationships that are represented there.

Regrettably, however, the shrinking wallet usually follows the swelling heart, because our culture tells us that our love must be represented by dollar signs and excess. As a result, I often find myself skimping on the meaningfulness of a gift, and splurging on the extravagance of it instead. The same line of faulty thinking affects the way I give gifts to my children, especially during the Christmas season.  

I struggle to find balance between fulfilling all of their Christmas wishes and restraining the spending and exuberant gift giving that I know only perpetuates a spirit of discontent, and self-centeredness. I realize that this battle is one of my own flesh – doing what makes me feel good versus doing what is best for my children.

Throughout the year, I watch them fall prey to the trappings of wanting more, more, more, and I feel the sting of responsibility knowing that I contribute to that attitude by giving in to their whims and wishes for my own benefit. How can I expect them to be content with the overflowing bounty that they have been afforded, when my actions teach them that they are somehow entitled to more?

As the mom, I realize that I set the tone for the Christmas holidays in my family. How I choose to center my heart and organize my priorities during this time influences the season for my entire family. This year I am making an intentional effort to focus my heart more on the joy of giving and less on the excitement of receiving, more on meaning and less on money. The reason we give is because we were first given to. A baby. A Saviour. A ransom on a cross. A free gift of salvation. That’s the gift I will focus my heart on. That’s the gift I will focus on giving away.

How will I shift my focus?

Melfin, our Elf on the Shelf, will primarily bring gifts that are to be given away…I’ll have a little talk with him.

I will look for ways my family and myself can share the love of Jesus with our neighbors, the figurative and literal ones; delivering cookies, adding $5 in gas to those who pump next to us, visiting the lonely in a nursing home.

We will give gifts that have significance and simplicity.

I will strive to avoid over indulging my children because it makes me feel good.

I will make time in the hustle and bustle to spend time with Giver Of Good Gifts and the very reason that we celebrate.

I look forward to sharing our family’s efforts with you throughout the month of December during Mom’s Monday Musings. I anticipate much temptation, knowing how susceptible I am to all things red, green, and glittery. I ask for your prayers and I encourage you to join me in the fight against over indulgence, to seek opportunities to express the truth of God’s gift, Jesus, in tangible ways to those around you, and to simplify your Christmas.

Mom's Monday Musings

Axl spent much of this weekend with his Nana, my mother with whom he is in love. The hours before Nana arrives pass like those spent watching grass grow. Painful. Forever. Christmas morning doesn't evoke an equal welcome. Time with Nana is a coveted treasure.

Friday we were joined by Aunt Faye, my mom's sister and story-teller extraordinaire. Her stories are big and lively, made all the more entertaining by the laugh she can't contain from the onset.

"Again, again. Start from the beginning and tell it again." Axl pleaded over and over.

I love that he was old enough to understand, to grasp the humor, to appreciate the art of a well told story.

The time together made me remember long summer days, far from home, where I would sit on a front porch shelling peas I had picked through complaints and cries for mercy. Surrounded by cousins, and aunts, and Grandma. We would sing loud and out of tune; I can still hear her voice. Not at all melodious or soft. It was old and raspy and wonderfully Southern. I know now, but couldn't understand then that it was soulful, drawn up from an inner well that never did run dry. A lover of Jesus, a saint if I ever met one, a woman with stories to tell. But I never asked to hear them, and I feel sad.

So many stories buried with the ones I love, missed opportunities, and history forgotten. How many stories are still waiting to be told? Who will they tell them to, if we don't long to hear and absorb them? Who will tell our stories, if we don't.

This week as we gather with family, let us take time to reflect on the history that surrounds the table. Imagine the world's events that are represented in the faces you see. The holidays can be trying. Consider what tension might be eased, by engaging crazy Uncle Joe in a conversation about where he was when Elvis passed away? You may find yourself pleading, "Again. Again."

Find interesting questions to engage relatives with here. 

Fan of Friday...I'm a fan of Thanksgiving

I’m a fan of Thanksgiving, of falling leaves, bare-naked trees, oranges and browns, turkey and dressing, family and friends, thanks and giving.

I’m a fan of Pilgrims and Indians, and the heritage they gave us, of the Mayflower, Plymouth Rock, and Miles Standish, who was short in stature and quick in temper.

I’m a fan of breathing it all in, absorbing the air, the smells, and the anticipation of the holidays beginning.

I’m a fan of refusing to participate in Christmas until every Thanksgiving moment has been all gobbled up - pun very much intended.

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.

What are you a fan of this Thanksgiving season?

Eliminating the List

I’ve been guilty of keeping a list. You’d never find it on paper. It’s not meant to be seen – that would be cruel. You see this is a list of women that I don’t didn't like. Wait. Hear me out. I had good reason not to like them. They didn’t like me first.

None of them ever said they didn’t like me; I just knew. I could tell when they didn’t light up when I came around, smile when we passed in public, approach me for meaningful conversation or even idle chitchat. If they didn’t stand by me at parties, compliment my shoes, or make me feel valued in any way, then they must not have liked me. And if they didn’t like me, well, I certainly wasn’t about to like them back. They were the mean girls.

Over time, the list grew, and maintaining it became cumbersome. I wanted to be free from the string of names that I considered enemies. I was keeping a list of wrongs, perceived ones at that, and there was no love in my heart. I knew it was a sin.

I started to wonder if these women were really my enemies at all. I mean, I’m likable, at least to a degree, so was it logical that so many women chose not to like me because they were just plain mean spirited? I doubted it.

Tired of carrying the weight of the list, I decided to approach my so-called enemies in a new way. I decided to love on them, to smile at them, stand by them, engage them in conversations, compliment their shoes, make them feel valued in any way possible. I began to treat them like I had wanted them to treat me so many times before.

Turns out everyone on the list smiled back, talked back, complimented back, enjoyed being valued, and freely reciprocated the feeling. Before long new relationships emerged, and every name was erased. Turns out I never had any enemies.

In the end, I was kind of the mean girl. My insecurity, my need to be validated by everyone around me caused me to see everyone’s actions in light of how they affected me. I never considered how the insecurities, situations, or lives of the women on my list prevented them from making me feel special, or that it was not their job to do so. It didn't occur to me that I might be on their list, or that they might be in need of someone reaching out to them.

Do you have a list?

Do you have insecurities that cause you to overlook opportunities to reach out to other women in genuine friendship and love? Consider the words of Jesus.

Matthew 5:43-48 reads, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

I encourage you to take the first step in forging a new friendship with a woman on your list. Send her an encouraging e-mail, offer a sincere compliment, smile in her direction, pray for her – right now.

Wide aWake Wednesday

It's Wednesday, so you're probably expecting Share the Love Wednesday, which is now forever changed to Share the Web Wednesday - no alliteration, no can do. But, your "scheduled quite regularly these days" programming is being interrupted so that I can bring you "Wide aWake Wednesday" in honor of the fact that is is 1:30 AM and I am indeed wide awake. I feel like I just woke up from a four hour power nap. From my bedside table an empty Mountain Dew can looks at me sheepishly.

The middle of the night is a very vulnerable time, so I don't enjoy experiencing it. I always try to pray myself back to sleep, which I used to feel really guilty about, fearing God might think I thought He was too boring to stay awake for, but then an amazing Bible study teacher explained that there was no safer, more peaceful place to fall asleep than in the arms of Jesus. What a freeing thought. But I'm usually either just sleepy enough that my prayers turn into half coherent hallucinations or I'm too wired and can't concentrate on one thing at a time. This is where I find myself now, jumping from one tragic event to the next, because my middle of the night daydreaming doesn't take my wandering mind to creative places or warm fuzzy memories. No, just the opposite.

The middle of the night is when I'm most afraid. Big terrifying thoughts like death, leaving children without a will, and the urgency of needing to get that done years ago. Small irrational fears like Axl's 1st grade teacher thinking I'm a failure, when I have to ask the Thanksgiving plan again, because I lost my notes from the beginning of the year meeting. The one that was supposed to save her the hassle of dealing with it the week before any big event. Self deprecating thoughts like other, more of everything women would just get up and use this energy to clean something or bake or both instead of wishing the energy would just go away so that they could sleep.

Tonight, this morning, tomato, tomoto, I'm taking every thought captive, refusing to spend another minute in fear and shame - two places that God has called me out of.
2 Corinthians 10:5, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to God."

Obedient to God and His reassuring truth that death is not a thing to be feared by a child of God, and more importantly, He is in control of my children, loving them, providing for them, with or without me here to oversee His work. Thoughts obedient to God say my worth is not bound to poor organizational skills, or a need/desire for sleep. Though just to be clear, obedience to God does not include disorder and laziness. When I intentionally filter every thought through the truth of God's Word, I'm not at the mercy of my sinful, wandering mind. Instead, I can rest easy in the never ending mercies of the Father.

Do you have thoughts that hold you captive or cripple you with fear? I encourage you to seek out Biblical truth that speak to those areas. Be intentional about memorizing the Scriptures so they're always at your disposal. Identify the thoughts immediately for what they are, and take them captive with God's Word.

Tuesday Tunes: "Sun & Moon"

The Psalms are full of Scriptures testifying to God's great creation and the praise that that creation continually brings forth.

Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.

Psalm 96:11-13 Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy. Let all creation rejoice before the LORD, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his faithfulness.

Psalm 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Psalm 148:3-10 3-4 Praise Him sun and moon; praise Him all you shining stars. Praise Him you highest heavens and you waters above the skies.

All of nature is a testament to His power and stands in awe of His majesty. We, all of mankind, are God's greatest creation. God saw Adam and said it was very good. But from the beginning man has chosen to go his own way. Choosing to worship the creation instead of the Creator.

For me that looks like refusing to die to self daily, and instead feeling as if I'm owed quiet time, open lanes for speeding, and the ceasing of all others cell phone conversations in my presence. Ironic that other people's selfishness is so annoying. Oh the list is long and ugly, and I realize more and more every day that I am the center of my universe. I must decrease, so that He may increase. I must give more away. Love. Grace. Mercy. Tolerance. I must reflect Jesus who gave it all away. The struggle continues.

I love the idea of nature offering praises to God. The imagery all around offers reminders that my life is to be about praise, about the creator, and not the creation made in His image. Some of my favorite worship songs center on that theme.

Response, the latest effort released by Phil Wickham, offers a collection of 11 powerful songs that will move your heart toward God. My favorite, by far, is "Sun & Moon."

If You are the sun
Then I wanna be the moon
I want to reflect the light
That shines from You
And if this is war
Then I'm gonna draw my sword
This time I know what I'm fighting for

God I wanna let You know
I want everything You are
I'm waiting for the morning light
To show a fire in the dark

Shine Your light
I want to feel You now
God I need a miracle
Take my heart, make it glow
Shine Your light
From the inside out
I wanna be more like You
If You are the sun
Then I wanna be the moon
I wanna be the moon

If love is a choice
Then I need You to hear my voice
I'm the one knocking on Your door
Making all this noise
Whatever it takes
I'd give it all away
I want to show my love in a thousand ways

The moon sits in darkness; It offers no light on its own. The sun is the source of its radiance. Jesus you are the Son, so I want to be the moon.

Mom's Monday Musings: Maintaining Confidence

Axl: We got our school picture proofs back today.

Mom: Oh yeah, how does it look?

Axl: Ehhh. My hair looks like it is sticking out this far. Think big. I think the camera was broken, because I know my hair was perfect.

Oh to have such confidence.

A few days later that confidence was challenged. Axl wanted desperately to finally win a recess race. Cheat, that was his plan, and it almost led him to victory. Fall. That was his reality. In front of all the friends who'd gathered to watch the race, Axl's plan ended with him face down on the finish line.

"Loser. Loser. Loser." Those were the words that greeted him.

He cried soulful tears as he retold the story; and we wept together at the shame of sin and the damage done by words.

"Axl you are not a loser, and your friends don't really think that you are a loser."

"Why would they say that then?"

I know first hand how the cruel words of peers, when internalized, shape our identities. Please God give me wisdom.

We just held, loved, remembered that God came as a baby (helpless and weak); He announced His birth to shepherds (lowly losers of their time); He befriended fishermen and thieves (the poor, the dirty, the outcasts). We counted all the ways God made Axl special and uniquely gifted that had nothing to do with handball, obstacle courses, or races. God doesn't make losers.

We remembered how one of Jesus' best friends treated him cruelly, and how Jesus forgave Him and loved him anyway.

We remembered the force of the enemies temptation, but we focused on the power of the One who is greater than he who is in the world. We remembered that crossing the finish line as a cheater doesn't make you a winner. We prayed forgiveness all around.

I remembered that being transparent about our hurts, fears, and dark places brings them out into the light. I encouraged Axl to always remember the same. In all that remembering, Axl forgot and finally smiled.

It was a hard day, but one packed with lessons and blessings you can't get on an easy day.

Fan of Friday...I'm a fan of "Just Do Something," by Kevin De Young

This summer, after returning from Uganda with a fire for action ablaze in my belly, I met with our worship pastor and mission’s leader (one person, two jobs. we’ll call him Brian, because that’s his name) to discuss my future role in the place I had come to love. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to do something, but then I got busy. The fire wasn’t extinguished but it became more like a smoldering ember than a four-alarm call to action. 

During that meeting, Brian pointedly asked, “Tonya, what do you want to do?” I used quotes, but in all fairness it could have been, “Tonya what is that you want to do.” Either way, he used my name, which seemed so authoritative and he asked in a way that almost demanded an answer; and I began to cry.  

I sputtered on with answers that were more inquiries than assertions. Really I just wanted him to tell me what to do, and even said as much. Through my tears I left Uganda and went big pictures, and though it was not his intention, I felt like I was being called out for all talk and no action.  

“women’s ministry?”

“speak?”

“I’m scared. I quit things. What if it’s all about me? What if it’s not His will? What if I quit this too?”

Brian, who always wants to “unpack” statements and know “what that looks like,” listened to my rambles and took in my reasons for complacency. To him, all my seemingly spiritual reasons for not moving forward were all about me. That I could put in quotes with confidence, because that’s what he said. It sounded profound, so I nodded in agreement – you know I could never appear to misunderstand the profound. Truth – I had no idea what he was talking about. How could it be all about me when I all I wanted to do was please my Jesus? The thing is, I knew he was right, but I couldn’t figure out how or why. 

Then I read about this book called, Just do Something. The title appealed to me immediately. The content is changing me. I finally understand what Brian was trying to tell me.

It’s a quick read, only 158 pages. Packed with Scripture, it will challenge you and cause you to think differently about the will of God. If you’ve ever wondered what God’s will is for your life, then read this book? If you’ve ever felt compelled to just do something, but feared that that something might be your idea and not God’s, then read this book. If you’ve ever felt like all your reasons for stagnation had more to do with you than with God, then read this book. Want to just do something with your faith? Do it. But also read this book.

I Might As Well Put on My Mom Jeans

Once upon a time I had a style so well-defined that I could walk into any cute little shop and with ease say, "This is a T shirt." I bought what I loved and I wore it. But somewhere between stay at home mom and mid thirties I lost all sense of style, especially my own. Who knows what a "T" shirt might look like these days, because the only thing you'll find me in is a tee-shirt or a plaid button down. Although sometimes I do mix it up and go with a layered look, putting my tee-shirt under an unbuttoned plaid, but that's only when I get dressed up. Sad. True.

The thing is, my carefree, comfy couture would work, if it actually made me feel comfortable or even carefree, but it doesn't. Instead it makes me feel a little like I've given up, given up a part of myself, my creativity, my voice.

I've come up with a few reasons why I believe my style is MIA:

1. As a stay at home mom and a known homebody, I don't interact with the masses. I don't have a reason to get all dolled up.

2. My husband loves me just as I am. Thank you Jesus, he loves me just as I am, and even a little bit more when I'm in sweats, sans make-up, and here's an interesting fact, with chipped nail polish. Go figure.

3. I've never dressed this person that I am now before, and I don't know what she likes. Sorry for the third person reference, but she, who is really me, actually feels a little like a stranger in the fashion department.

                     So, I might as well go ahead and put on my mom jeans, right?

Maybe not quite yet. Terrified at the thought, I dug deep and discovered rebuttals to my own faulty reasonings, determined to uncover the fashionista that I know still lives inside.

1. The truth is, I struggle with seeking the approval of others in many areas, but fashion and my personal sense of style has never been one of those areas. I never dressed up so that others would see and affirm me. I did it, because it made me feel good. The reason to get all dolled up back then was me. The reason to get all dolled up today is still me. P.S. If you know me at all, you know dolled up is a little bit of an exaggerated term. 

2. My husband does love me just as I am, but I think the reason my gunk free face and jacked up nails appealed to him in the first place was that it was something I shared only with him, a way he could see me and no one else could. He would never admit it, but I have to wonder if the look is a little less appealing now that it has gone public. 

3. Discovering new clothes that I might possibly learn to love could somehow be construed as a fun thing, if one were, say, transparent enough to admit that they were actually concerned about such trivial pursuits.

Minutes later...

I'm calling my own transparency into question as I struggle to push "Publish Post." Should I make you all aware that this Jesus girl with the Jesus blog is actually concerned with pursuits as shallow as new clothes? I could give myself the sermon right now on all things "worldly." In reality it's playing in my heart and in my head as I type.

More minutes later...

In the end, I'm gonna push the button, because that's the point of the whole thing. Transparency. Good, bad, and ugly, but all true.

Share the Love Wednesday: Fields of Gold

One can waste much time behind the screen that grants endless access to knowledge without wisdom and headlines without facts. How many times have I sat down to send a quick e-mail and found myself entangled in the lives of the Kardashians? When there is a worthy task to be avoided, the internet provides unlimited distractions and I fall prey to them all.

But women with a real voice, ones who use that voice to glorify Jesus, are a distraction that I can feel good about. The blogs of Christian women are like reality TV without the "guilty pleasure" tagline. I've stumbled upon some that I love and want to share with you.

Check out Samantha Reed's Blog, Fields of Gold. The first time I read her words, I had to fight hard the temptation to be overcome with feelings of jealousy and inferiority. Her words are poetic and poignant, but relatable and oh so readable.

Here's a post from August called, "I Am Loved"  Spend some time there when you have a free moment, they won't be moments wasted.

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes: I’m Forgiven

I love music, and like most people I can’t be pinned down to one genre. I’ll even take rap or heavy metal, if the content is bearable. Music makes us feel. It stirs us from the inside and so often the rhythm does actually get you, just like Gloria Estefan warned.

I’m a lyrics gal – all about the words, and when I hear a lyric it becomes hard wired into my brain. I can’t forget it no matter how hard I try. Achy Breaky Heart – really – please make it go away. For that reason, I have to be careful about the content of the music that I enjoy. Oh be careful little ears what you hear, right?

Today, my inner iPod hit repeat on one line of a song called “Forgiven” by Sanctus Real. It’s not a new song, released in 2010, but neither is its message.

Sanctus Real: "Forgiven" 

I’m reminded of the wrong

That I have said and done

And that devil just won’t let me forget

In this life

I know what I’ve been

But here in your arms

I know what I am

I’m forgiven

I can’t contemplate this truth without gratitude greater than words welling up in the depths of my soul. Without the atoning work of Christ on the cross, the wrong that I have said and done would have created an unbridgeable chasm between me and a Holy God, but through Him, I am forgiven (period).  That is who I am, a title that defines my existence.

Now that I am forgiven, having repented and turned away from ugly like you could never begin to imagine just by looking at me, I am no longer bound to the memory of the past offenses, except, of course, when the devil just won’t let me forget. In those moments I remember that my Forgiver chooses not to remember my transgressions (Jeremiah 31:41 NIV). He has removed them from as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12 NIV).

How about you? Does the enemy taunt you with sins of the past, tricking you into believing that you are too tarnished or too damaged to be used by a Perfect King? Or worse, that you are too much of anything bad to even be a child of God?

Hebrews 10:17-18 says, “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more. And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary."

Sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary. Oh My Goodness that’s some good news, and I pray that you hear it, internalize it, and live it out.

The depth of my sin is a reminder of the depth of His forgiveness. I embrace the chance to offer Him praise at that thought, but I refuse to allow the enemy to negate that opportunity with thoughts of shame and guilt.

Here are some other great songs about God’s amazing choice to not remember all that He has forgiven.

                                           Casting Crowns: "East to West"

And one of the best lyrics ever, "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us." Kim Walker with Jesus Culture: "How He Loves Us"

Mom's Monday Musings

Play dates are a beautiful thing. Axl enjoys the company of a playmate for a long afternoon of endless imagination and mess making, and I enjoy a long afternoon of not being the playmate - fun is had by all. My favorite thing about play dates though is listening in on the very serious conversational exchanges between two little boys. Friday’s gathering was no let down, as the conversation veered to a very important subject indeed.

Guest: “The only way to kill a rattlesnake is with a sword or a knife. You have to stab it in the heart, ‘cause if you stab it in the body you just dissect it.”

Axl: “You can shoot it with a shotgun too. In the head.”

So there you have it, Rattlesnake Annihilation 101.

And then there was this:

Guest: flush…leave bathroom

Axl: from down the hall “You didn’t wash your hands!”

Mom: somewhat relieved that at least he knows one SHOULD wash their hands before leaving the bathroom…somewhat frustrated that the information hasn’t influenced his own bathroom etiquette

The exchange reminded me how easily we spot the speck in someone else’s eye. You would think that the plank in our own would hinder our vision.  

Matthew 7:3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

Uganda Day Two, Three, and Four...Whew!

Hello Friends

We had a power outage last night, so I wasn't able to update again. I did get a lot of pictures posted on facebook. Search for Cornerstone Women and you will see them there.

Day two was Center day. The students usually have center day once a month, even during holiday. We had some praise time and danced and danced with the kids. We also got to go to class with them as they had a 45 min Bible study. Next we had more praise with the choir, Pastor Eva spoke, and then we planted trees celebrating ARMS 20 year anniversary. Finally we got to play games. The best part was of course the children. They clung to us, holding onto to any part they could grab. The shyer ones would just come up rub our skin and run away; they wanted to know if the white would come off. They would laugh and laugh, and rub our hair, so interested in how it felt. The ones who had a hand and arm or leg wouldn't let go even for the opportunity to play a game and win a prize which was candy. It was very touching. That's how important touch, love, and attention was to them. We were exhausted by the end of the day. Please visit the Cornerstone Women's facebook page to view photos of the day, their meals, their classrooms and their faces.

Day three was Sunday. We started the day by worshipping at Gaba church. We sang familiar songs, "Arms Open Wide" and "Let it Rain." The youth was doing all the class teaching that day. Two young people, early twenties, gave their testimonies. One girl talked about how she was sponsored through the Next Generation program. She was very emotional as she spoke of her American sponsor who had supported her since she was a young girl.

Next we drove to church in Buloba. They have an 8:00 am service followed by a 10:00 Bible study. The second service is 10:30 til 1:00. It is long and it is hot, but they are happy to be there. They ask first time visitors to come to the stage and give their name and where they are coming from. This Sunday they had 5 first-timers (not including us) and 4 of them gave full-on testimonies. It was their first time. I couldn't believe it. What a difference. After church we had lunch and spent a little time with the children. We headed back to our guest house early and all the girls took a nice long nap. Later in the evening we had a power outage, but thank God the power came back on and we had fans to sleep with. We had a great night hanging out getting to know one another better.

Day four was today, but this is getting long and I am getting tired, so I will save today for tomorrow. Please know that it was another wonderful day and there is really nothing bad to report; everything has been amazing.

We have a guide her name is Olive and she is great. We were talking to her about coming to America and asking if she would be asking us what is this, what is that, why are they doing that, what does that mean - a million questions. She of course said she would be. She said she was not at all afraid of Eddie's driving, so we said we would take her on a roller coaster if she ever came to visit. Earlier tonight, we showed her a youtube video of the HULK roller coaster. Her mouth dropped open wide and she asked, "Would my intestines come out. I think I shall cry from the moment it starts." Then Florence, the lady who cooks for us, said, "Americans. They are crazy." The people here are so so nice. As a special treat Olive cooked us grasshoppers. Yes, you read that right - fried grasshoppers. Not bad tasting, but when you know that you are eating bugs it doesn't matter what it tastes like. I do think it should be a Uganda trip tradition, however, so beware. We had her try Oreos. Not a fair trade off right? She of course loved them and said her siblings would go crazy for them. We sent the bag home with her. I'm interested to know what impact it might have on their little bellies.

There are so many great stories to tell. I'll share more tomorrow.

with much love,

Tonya

Kids have a lot of energy in every country...

Today we played and played and now we are pooped. I can't wait to share our amazing day, but I will have to fill you in tomorrow.

We are going to try and go to sleep now. "Try", because there is a pretty lively wedding reception going on next door that will go on until midnight. It is 10:22 here, only an hour and a half to go. The good news is the music is in another language, so we don't have to endure the typical wedding reception staples, "Mustang Sally" or "Shout." We did hear "Celebrate" (Kool and the Gang) and "Macarena," so I guess there is still time.

Pray not.

With much love

Tonya

Uganda Day One

Day One:

Our first stop was the bank. We transferred our dollars for shillings. I have to tell you that carrying around a 50,000 bill in any currency is just cool, even if it only translates to about $25. Axl’s got show and tell covered next week, because these things are neat-o. Next we drove to Gaba. Actually, I wouldn’t quite call it driving. It was a mix of driving and flying. Traffic here is intense and the roads are very similar to Alabama clay dirt roads – rough and narrow. Imagine those roads with hundreds of vans, mopeds, bikes, and pedestrians. Add in chickens, goats, and wild cows and you start to get an idea about the driving conditions. Kind of, I left out potholes the size of ditches. Eddie is our “driver.” He drives with one hand on the wheel and the other on the horn, blasting it as if to say, “I will not be stopping so please move and do it quickly.” It’s terrifying and awesome at the same time. Like a roller coaster that you want to end while you’re on it, but can’t wait to get back on once you’re off. We scream and laugh and try to make ourselves as small as possible, thinking it will help us squeeze through the tight spots we have no business even attempting. It’s hilarious.

(These are all cars trying to get out at the same time. Eddie says, "Oh no you don't. We are going to win this race. In America he would be a Nascar Champ.)

Next, we visited the ARM offices in Gaba, including the schools there. The offices are nice, but modest. We got to see how everything works. One of the most interesting parts for me was how the letters are processed. They all go to a central location where 5 or 6 women open and track them. They read them and list any questions that are asked or comments that are made. They also note any gifts that are sent. Then, the letters, with the forms of questions and gifts, are sent to the individual community translators. This ensures that the sponsored child answers every question and every gift receives an acknowledgment and a thank-you. I was very impressed with the attention given to the letters, and I thought the information was helpful in terms of writing future letters. This is not a huge organization. It is very personal and it is treated as such. See earlier post, “You Are Welcome.”

During the school tour, our guide mentioned that the kids were on “Holy Day.” ??? What Holy Day? I know it’s a different culture, but it’s a Christian school surely they don’t have extra Holy Days. So I ask. The guide explained that the students attend school 3 terms and they have breaks in between - still no answer for the Holy Days. My next thought was, “ohhh. They are Muslim holy days and they just don’t want to talk about them.” Okay, makes sense. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered that “Holy Day” translates “holiday,” and if you dumb it down even further you get, “Spring break.” Now I know. 

Our final stop was Buloba. We were so excited. We had so many questions about how it looked and what we would see and finally it was time. It was nothing like I expected, except for the kids. Smiling faces all around. Shy for only seconds. Language was a barrier that was easily transcended with a smile and a camera. They love to have their pictures taken and then to see themselves on the screen. I could write pages and pages about the short time we spent there today. We’re going back almost everyday. As we played and laughed and tried to learn the many names, my ears were constantly perked for the one name I longed to hear, “Judith.” My family has the privilege of sponsoring several children, and while you shouldn’t have a favorite child – I know that’s a sensitive subject for many – Judith is so special to our family. She is Axl’s friend. He prays for every night by name, and it is her life that teaches him so many lessons about being content, grateful, hard working, I could go on and on.

Finally, I saw a woman walking towards me, a little girl pressing against her leg. “Who’s this?” I asked, already knowing the answer. It was Judith - this shy little thing. I knew she would be. While the other kids pictures we receive show kids with these gleaming smiles, Judith exuded reserved. Always seeming a little solemn. Even now my heart overflows and so do my eyes at the sheer joy it was to be in her presence. I wanted to go on and on about how much we love her. I had to restrain myself from completely enveloping her and squeezing my love right into her little heart. Instead I smiled – really big – and hugged her gently, as I held back my tears of relief at seeing her face.

Seeing her made me feel like home. She is a part of our home and our family, and it made me miss Axl so much. I will get to visit her family in a few days and we’ll spend tomorrow playing with all the sponsored children. Even though they are on “Holy Day,” they come to the school for Center, more on that tomorrow. When I know more.

I know that many of you reading this sponsor children. I wish that I knew all of their names to tell you that they are here and real and wonderful and in return could tell them all how truly loved they are by their friends from Alabama. In honor of all of you who do sponsor, I will take every chance I get to hold, love, tickle, play, and enjoy these precious babies.

With much love

Tonya

You Are Welcome

Today we toured the ARM offices in Gaba. "You are welcome." That's how we were greeted by everyone we met. Over and over, room after room, "You are welcome."

"Thank you," we hastily replied in unison. I felt so impolite. Obviously I should be saying thank you, but I wasn't quite sure what for.

I was determined to get it right in the next office. I was prepared to exclaim, "Thank you," the moment we entered the room, but I was too late. "You are welcome" came faster than my lips could move.

Something about the way the words were pronounced the fifth or sixth time around made them finally become clear. You are welcome. Welcome in our offices. Welcome to our country. Welcome to partnering with us in this ministry called African Renewal Ministries.

It was not the sarcastic admonishment of a parent whose child had temporarily forgotten their manners. It was a greeting of complete sincerity. Everyone stopped what they were doing, focused on our presence and seemed genuinely concerned with making us feel welcomed. Tonight as we discussed our day, one of the things that we loved and shared was their sense of "external perspective." The people of Uganda, especially the ones with ARM, expressed a real concern for people other than themselves. Without hesitation, they completely stopped what they were doing to make others feel welcome.

I felt welcomed. First day, first lesson learned. People more than notice when you stop your busyness to care about their presence; they feel it and it feels good.

With much love,

Tonya

Universal Truth

I got word about two weeks ago that I would have the opportunity to speak to a group of Ugandan women. The excitement of sharing God’s truth with the women of Uganda faded quickly as I began to focus on how little I have in common with the women on the other side of the globe. I can’t imagine that self-image is a high priority to women who struggle to provide meals and medicine for their children. My excitement turned to fear. What will I share when I know nothing of their struggles? Who am I to share with them anyway? I’ve seen glimpses of this culture on the videos of teams who have gone before us; and through the children’s visits, I’ve witnessed first hand the overwhelming love and joy that this group of people have for and in their Saviour. They need to be sharing to me. I want some of what they’ve got.

I was recounting my fears to a friend and without hesitation she said, “Share the Word. It’s universal.” Simple. Profound. It was embarrassingly obvious - share the Word. After all, what do I have in common with the middle aged, Jewish men who penned the words of God’s amazing truth? I am neither a man nor Jewish, and I am certainly not middle-aged – not even close. Right? I could list dozens and dozens of differences between Paul, Peter, James and myself, but none of them could compare to the one amazing thing that we share - Jesus. We are loved and redeemed by the same Creator God of the universe. We are broken sinners whose only hope of freedom in found in the blood of Jesus, and we are bound by the truths of the same 66 books wholly inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Our differences are wide. The women of Uganda might not understand my sarcastic humor, but they do understand brokenness, fear, and trial. Just like Paul and just like me. More than that, they understand provision, grace, and what it means to be loved by Jesus, and sweet friends so did Paul and so do I.

Jesus and His word are universal. He is for them, and me, and you. I know that American stories and quirky cultural references won’t tickle the ears of a Ugandan crowd, but the unending message of hope that is the Word has the power to trickle truth into every fiber of their souls.

Please pray alongside me that God’s message will be clear. That He will speak through me, and that no part of me will interfere in what He has in store for these women.

With much love,

Tonya

Trite and True

In three days it's wheels up, off to Africa with a small team of believers longing to share the love of Jesus. Sounds trite, right? “Share the love of Jesus.” Overused. Unoriginal. Uninspired. Yes, in a way. Like so many religious clichés regurgitated on cue, “Jesus love you,” has lost its cultural appeal. But if it’s not about His love then what is it? It’s not the adventure or chance to get away. “Squatty Potty” is not something I look for when considering travel destinations. It’s not obligation. There are hurting souls and broken lives in my very own neighborhood. It’s not attention or the need for pats on my back. Few will even know that I’ve left home. Trite? I’m okay with trite as long the core of the message is still truth. People need to feel the overwhelming, unconditional acceptance and love of a Saviour; that’s a truth that never goes out of style.

Buloba is the community we will visit. Our church, Cornerstone, has partnered with the people there for five years. During that time, God has provided a freshwater well on church property, the beginnings of an actual church structure, and sponsorship and education for 300 Buloban children. God is already at work in this village. We are not going with the focus of sharing the Gospel, these people love Jesus and they worship Him. I mean they worship Him! We are going to love on them. To stand beside them and say I am your friend, your sister in Christ, and I support you, pray for you, love you.

Personally, I can’t wait to get my hands on those babies, big babies, children that we sponsor collectively as a church. I know that God will use them to change my life. I pray, please pray alongside me, that my current perspective will be challenged and uprooted. I welcome it, long for it. I pray too that we can truly share the love of Jesus with our friends so far away, and that they understand that it is because of His love for them and our love for Him that we journey across the world, leaving the familiar behind.

This trip is about love. It was love that caused God to send His son on a mission to us, and it is love that sends us on a mission to Africa. So, with all the triteness I can muster I say, “Jesus loves you,” and I pray that you experience that in a very real way today.

With much love,

Tonya

Going to God Not Bed

I am trying to memorize the first chapter of James. It’s my favorite book of the Bible and it’s packed with the kind of spiritual truth that a gal like me, or any gal for that matter, needs at her disposal in a moments notice. The entire book of James is the ultimate goal, but realistic is where I’m starting. James 1:2 reads, “Consider it pure joy my brothers when you experience trials of many kinds…” Now this is not Tonya kind of thinking. This can only come from Jesus, so I’ve been repeating this verse over and over.

“I see Phoebe potty mama.” Consider it pure joy.

“Mrs. Stiles, we need you to stop your work again and come upstairs to answer another question about tile.” Yes there is still endless construction in my home. Pure joy.

“The freezer stopped working and we have to throw away all of our food. Yes, even all the stuff we bought at the grocery store two days ago.” Joy? Really? Okay Jesus; Pure joy.

But today, my world and all of its minor issues piled up so fast and so high that I was buried under overwhelmed and defeat before James 1:2 could escape my lips. By the time I had a clear moment to remind myself of James' words, my joy was so depleted that this truth wasn’t making its way past my mouth into my heart. Today didn’t feel like pure joy.

I was tired and empty and I so desperately wanted to crawl into my bed and escape the demands coming from every direction. I wanted sleep to be my refuge like it has been so many times before, but today instead of going to bed I went to Jesus.

I went with tears and frustration, confusion and fear, and He met me in the midst of it. Today was not great, and it didn’t get tied up in a neat bow, but Jesus gave me the strength to endure it head on, to persevere ‘til the end.

James 1:3 continues, “because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” That’s what Jesus rained down on me today – perseverance, and on a day like today that’s exactly what I needed. 

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Psalm 30:5 For his anger endureth for a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may last for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (KJV)

So Good Nighteth to all Ye Fair Maidens. I bid you adieu ‘til morn from whence my joy cometh….I love me some King James Version.

P.S. I wrote this last night and due to major computer malfunctions and an OCD thing I got going on with the submit button, it didn't get submitted. I know now that Jesus was holding off so that this little praise report could be added.

This morning Warren said, "Man T, you were really sleeping hard last night." He had to go in last night for an emergency and I totally missed him coming home, the barking dog, the dog apparently falling out of bed from all the excitement, the other emergency call that came even later in the night, the whole bit. I was asleep in my Saviour's arms and He was giving me rest. The best rest I've had in months. Oh how I love Him so.

Maybe bed is not where you run for refuge, maybe your refuge is found at the mall, the gym, the pantry, or the TV. Maybe, prayerfully, you've discovered your refuge in Jesus and you know the peaceful rest that floods you like a tidal wave when you're nestled safely in His arms. I know that today will bring trials of many kinds and a testing of my faith. I pray for me and for you that when those times inevitably come we are reminded to consider it pure joy knowing the testing of our faith does produce perseverance. But, if the road seems to get too hard and our joy gets buried I pray we rest confidently knowing our refuge is found in Him and Him alone. I pray we remember to go to God and not to bed.

With much love,

Tonya

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

Written in part on Saturday, January 22^nd, 2011

I just finished an enormous hamburger from a well-known fast food chain conveniently located one block from my home. Before living in such close proximity to said fast food chain, it was my favorite place to get a bite on the go. Now, after four years of taking advantage of it’s drive thru temptations -not so much. Now it is the, “I don’t have the time or energy to feed my poor family anything but their charbroiled convenience.” It has become the last resort.

So today with the first week of a new semester coming to an end and a weeks worth of housework lurking in every room, a last resort effort was in order. The burger was edible, but not delicious not even good really and yet I continued to consume it with much vigor. Even after my stomach was full to the point of excess I continued to eat. I was on a mission. I was searching for one good bite - one with just the right blend off all the toppings; one good ending that would make those calories worth the effort, but it never came. I reached the end of the oversized letdown and felt unsatisfied. Oh I was stuffed to the point of sickness, but I was still empty. The burger had met my physical need, but it had not offered me anything good. That’s a lot of pressure for a burger right?

How many times have I continued down a path of indulgence or destruction, hoping that the next turn would bring some sort of goodness? In the past it looked like one more drink hoping it would distract me from whatever issue I was hoping to avoid, or the belief that another doomed relationship would finally meet my need to belong. These days the compromises are much more subtle. Hours spent surfing the entertainment pages, finding them much less convicting than Scripture or the allowance of one little sin to remain unchecked, because it makes my life more convenient. The extremes have changed but the issue is the same. Seeking to find goodness, satisfaction, or meaning in anything other than Jesus will always leave me feeling less than satisfied.

I have known the fulfilling, purposeful message of Jesus for most of my life. In fact, I don’t remember life before Him, yet time and again I have sought my own path and inevitably discovered that it left me broken and empty pleading for mercy. Please know that I walked many of those journeys while simultaneously traipsing up and down the halls of a church building. The sins of pride, judgment, deceit, wrath, and envy lead to places as dark as the sins of debauchery, drunkenness, and drugs, and they are much easier to hide. One thing I’m certain of now more than ever, however, is that there is no road so long, bumpy, or broken that it doesn’t have a detour leading directly to the foot of the cross. God is not only a God of second chances, but also third, fourth, fifth…

If you have found yourself on some treacherous, sin-laden terrain, please sweet sister know that others have stumbled down those roads before you. Know that there is redemption in the heart of your Jesus who loves you. Like the quest for one satisfying bite that never came, is the quest for meaning, peace, purpose, or joy in a life of continual, deliberate sin. Don’t take another bite. Don’t waste another moment, before you seek to be satisfied by the only One capable of handling the pressure.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 Peter 1:3-8 (The Message)

 3-5 What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole. 6-7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. 8-9 You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.

With much love,

Tonya

Leviticus Anyone?

Okay, so this post isn’t at all about transparency, it’s especially long, and it’s filled with Jewish history. You may be tempted to bail now, but I encourage you to take the 10 minutes required and discover an amazing event in the life of Jesus in a new and fresh way. I’m telling you it’s cool.

Have you read Leviticus lately? No? Me either. In fact I can’t promise that I’ve ever read Leviticus (there’s some transparency). I’ve had good intentions to do so - lots of times. Genesis I can do. Exodus, that’s good too, but Leviticus not so much, or so I thought. In Leviticus chapter 23, we find the LORD giving Moses the command regarding the Feast of Tabernacles, but why? The Israelites had finally been given the Promised Land rich with possessions and the proverbial milk and honey. God knew that these people would easily forget the constant provisions He had provided during their forty years of wandering in the desert. He had seen it countless times before. The Feast of Tabernacles was to be a safeguard for the people, a yearly celebration to remember that God had met their every need and that He would keep His promise. The Feast lasted eight days book marked by days of Sabbath rests. During the course of the Feast, the Israelites were to leave their new, comfy homes and dwell in “sukkot,” a Hebrew word, meaning tabernacle or booth. Think modern day tent.

Fast-forward about 1200 years to the city of Jerusalem, and we find the Jewish people still celebrating the annual Feast of Tabernacles. Somewhere in history, many believe it began with Isaiah, a water ceremony was added. The water ceremony was a plea for rain as they were very dependent upon rainwater that came during their two rainy seasons. Remember too that these people were very familiar with every OT prophecy regarding the coming Messiah and knew that those prophecies were very commonly used in the context of water. Therefore, the ceremony held both physical and spiritual significance.

With much pomp and circumstance the High Priest fully clothed in his most priestly garb, worshippers, Levites, musicians, and rabbis would march from the Temple to the Pool of Siloam. The High Priest would gather water in a golden pitcher, then, the crowd would march the half mile back to the Temple at which time they would all pause for 3 blasts on silver trumpet and the High Priest would shout, “With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation..” (Isaiah 12:3 The priest would then pour the water into a vessel on the altar, the trumpets would blast three more times and the people would shout, Psalms 118:25, “Save now I beseech thee, O LORD, O LORD, I beseech thee, send now prosperity.” I guess they didn’t have access to the NIV. This was the scene every morning for six days.

Hoshanna Rabba marked the seventh day of the Feast. It was the culmination of excitement and expectation that had grown during the Feast. On the first six days there was one march around the altar and 3 trumpet blasts before the water was poured at the altar. The seventh day brought seven marches around the altar and seven rounds of three trumpet blasts. At that point, the people would shout, “Please bring salvation now. Please, God, please save and bring salvation now.” This is still a part of the Feast of Tabernacles for the Jewish nation. It is called hakkafot, a glorious climax of celebration, seeking, and praise.

Pause for a moment and imagine yourself in 1^st century Jerusalem, thousands have gathered for one of the most important Holy celebrations of the year. This year, however, is different. This year there is a new excitement, a new tension. The mobs of people are consumed with talk of a young rabbi, who performs many signs. His name is Jesus. Thousands want to see Him. Many want to witness a miracle, many more need a miracle, and many want to see His ministry put to an end. So, while they march praying for a Saviour, their thoughts are preoccupied with Jesus and the question on everyone’s one is, “Will He show?”

John 7 recounts the events surrounding the Feast of the Tabernacles, during Jesus’ first year of ministry. Take a moment and read John 7: 1-36. You can do it right from your computer, go to www.biblegateway.com We find Jesus’ own brothers taunting Him. “Go. If you really want people to know you…Go.” They didn’t believe Jesus was the Messiah until after the Resurrection. Finally we see Jesus at the Feast, teaching in the outer courts. There would have been large numbers of people in town to listen to Him teach, but He was not yet where the action was – inside the Temple.

Verse 37 says, “On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice…” Okay, remember the last day of the Feast? Much pomp. Much circumstance. Throngs of people enthralled in a huge celebration surrounding the water. Trumpets, shouting, “Wells of salvation! Prosperity Now! God please bring Salvation now!” I imagine that the room was electric with prayer; prayer for water; prayer for the Messiah, and Jesus was there. His time had finally come, and in a loud voice He stands and shouts, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within Him.”  

Wow. I don’t know about you, but my goodness I think that that is stinkin’ Awesome. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being intentional  - intentional in relationships, prayer, the Word. It seems clear to me that God is all about intentional. Think about these words, “On the last and greatest day of the Feast…” Scripture makes it clear that the authors penned each word of the Bible by divine inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so we know God included these words for a reason. These words are in there intentionally so that we might know the full meaning of this passage and better understand the significance of “the right time.” I know that if it had been me, I would have marched down right after the taunting and showed them just what a Messiah could do. I would have at least shared with them my plan, so they would know what I had in mind was much better than their weak scheme. A reminder that God's timing is always perfect. And talk about dramatic. Can you imagine being in church on Sunday, thousands of people shouting, “Jesus please come now,” and suddenly the ceiling lifts and He says, “Here I am.” That’s essentially what He did at the Feast of Tabernacles.

I had to research this at school this week, and it left me hungry to know more, to read God’s Word with new intentionality, seeking the fullness of the Glory revealed on each page. If you think this is cool, continue reading through John 8. You’ll find the incident with the woman caught in the act of adultery and then Jesus telling the Jews, “I am the light of the world…” Keep in mind that this happened on the eighth day of the Feast, also known as the Illumination ceremony, when Jerusalem was completely illuminated by candelabra’s in every courtyard. How much more awesomeness am I missing because I read these words for the sole purpose of saying that I did?

The historical information regarding the Feast and the water ceremony came from, Christ in the Feast of the Tabernacles, by David Brickner. Very interesting read.

With much love,

Tonya

It's An Ongoing Battle of the Tongue

Contentment is an ongoing battle in this household. “Why can’t you just be satisfied with what you have?” Oh if I had a nickel…Last Christmas, Veggie Tales released a new movie, It’s a Meaningful Life, and it dealt with, you guessed it, contentment. Needless to say, I swooped it up, made the popcorn, popped it in and movie night was on in the Stiles house – nothing like a good illustration to drive my point home. The experience would not have been complete without discussion breaks and hypothetical scenarios to practice the valuable lessons we were gleaning from our veggie friends.

As you know, because I’ve told you so many times before, my mouth is another ongoing battle. Not so much in my house as in my life. So being the Good Father that He is, God provided me, the rebellious child, with my own perfect illustration. I doubt that popcorn was a part of the experience, but I know He was watching, and I feel confident He will provide me with real life opportunities to repeat the grace shown to me by sweet Lori, who put out my fiery tongue with syrup and molasses.

We have construction going on in our home right now. It’s been on and off for four years, but it’s been every day since September 1st. Each day is filled with questions, decisions, endless banging, deliveries, catastrophes, and people. People everywhere. We are living in the end days, however, and the finale is in sight. Furniture that has been back ordered for months is slowly trickling in. Our bedroom was finally ready for the new bed. It was the lone piece that had arrived on time way back in October. Since those colorful autumn days the solid frame has been moved from room to room, waiting patiently for its permanent home. Friday was the day. Assembly commenced, but in the end it was not to be. Headboard – one size. Footboard – another. It was the final blow in a day wrought with disaster.

Lori answered the phone of the company who has held my furniture hostage for months and sabotaged the single piece that had made its way home. Within seconds she knew I was angry, no furious, and while I assured her that I meant no harm to her personally I made it clear that I had “Reached the Peak of FRUSTRATION With This Company.” Through angry tears I laid all of my frustrations at Lori’s feet, and in graciousness and calm Lori simply listened. When she finally spoke, her words were gentle and sincere, not at all defensive, or put off. Lori was truly interested in what had gone wrong and even though I had been so ugly, Lori responded beautifully with kind words and a helpful spirit.

My anger subsided. I knew Lori was living out Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” and I knew that Jesus was using her to speak into the depths of my soul. I doodle when I’m on the phone and about Lori I wrote, “Jesus used her today.” I don’t know if Lori reacted out of her love for Jesus, good customer service training, or both, but I know, whether she did or not, that Jesus was using her in that moment to minister to a stranger. What a beautiful picture of God’s Word being lived out.

Notice the “heaping coals” I also doodled. It comes from Proverbs 25:21-23, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.”

With Much Love,

Tonya