Mom: Oh yeah, how does it look?
Axl: Ehhh. My hair looks like it is sticking out this far. Think big. I think the camera was broken, because I know my hair was perfect.
Oh to have such confidence.
A few days later that confidence was challenged. Axl wanted desperately to finally win a recess race. Cheat, that was his plan, and it almost led him to victory. Fall. That was his reality. In front of all the friends who'd gathered to watch the race, Axl's plan ended with him face down on the finish line.
"Loser. Loser. Loser." Those were the words that greeted him.
He cried soulful tears as he retold the story; and we wept together at the shame of sin and the damage done by words.
"Axl you are not a loser, and your friends don't really think that you are a loser."
"Why would they say that then?"
I know first hand how the cruel words of peers, when internalized, shape our identities. Please God give me wisdom.
We just held, loved, remembered that God came as a baby (helpless and weak); He announced His birth to shepherds (lowly losers of their time); He befriended fishermen and thieves (the poor, the dirty, the outcasts). We counted all the ways God made Axl special and uniquely gifted that had nothing to do with handball, obstacle courses, or races. God doesn't make losers.
We remembered how one of Jesus' best friends treated him cruelly, and how Jesus forgave Him and loved him anyway.
We remembered the force of the enemies temptation, but we focused on the power of the One who is greater than he who is in the world. We remembered that crossing the finish line as a cheater doesn't make you a winner. We prayed forgiveness all around.
I remembered that being transparent about our hurts, fears, and dark places brings them out into the light. I encouraged Axl to always remember the same. In all that remembering, Axl forgot and finally smiled.
It was a hard day, but one packed with lessons and blessings you can't get on an easy day.
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