Loving the Unlovely

We all know that if you pray for patience you better mean it, because God is going to lovingly try your last nerve. What about praying for humility? Be serious about this one too, because again God is going to lovingly supply you with an opportunity to make a fool of yourself. He knows, like we know, that we learn from experience. I can tell Axl how to ride a bike, but until he experiences it he can't possibly know how to do it. I don't need to point out the obvious correlation between falling off the bike and falling in our attempts to be patient and humble do I? I didn't think so.

Okay, so what about this prayer, "God help me to love like you love." This has been my prayer recently, because like I stated yesterday, I often don't, um honestly that should read, don't often react with love. Of course, I'm a sentimental sap who cries at gymnastics, but I struggle with loving the unlovely. You know the ones who drive slow in the left lane, mumble at the drive thru, and text while they're walking. While these things may make the most loving person frustrated, they send me into a tirade causing my heart to blacken and my mouth to light up. Seriously, waiter's, clerks, old ladies and small children (I kid with the last two...kind of) they don't see a lot of Jesus in me. My prayer has been that my mouth and my attitude would become so disgusting to me that I would have no choice but to respond differently, to respond with love. Now, maybe you all knew this and didn't share it with me (we'll deal with that later) or maybe you too had no idea that when you pray this prayer God will lovingly bring every unlovely person within a 10 mile radius into your path on a daily basis.

Now, what do you do with such a warning? My advice - completely disregard it. Be prepared, but don't let it stand in your way of seeking to love others like He does. One amazing thing that has happened over the last few week is that I have become very aware of all the times that I am being unlovely to my Jesus throughout the day. I remember that He is loving me in the midst of it and it reminds me that if He, perfect, holy, God can love me while engaging in the activities that sent Him to a cross then I can certainly love the lady driving 5 miles UNDER the speed limit making me 6 minutes late to the encounter I have planned with the man at Burger King who will struggle to hear me say "Whopper."

In giving me so many opportunities to practice loving more like Him, I have had some successes. Warren and Axl are probably sad that they missed them...I kid I kid. My attitude and my mouth are becoming disgusting to me, and my heart is stretching as I give more of it to the Holy Spirit. And like the song says I know that, "He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. How loving and patient He must be, 'cause He's still working on me." Thank you Jesus for that.

With much love,

Tonya

Sometimes the Devil Uses Strollers...Wait. Is that appropriate?

Last Monday Axl became a gymnast. He's done t-ball, soccer, and tumbling, but the one thing he's always wanted to try was gymnastics. So, when his first class finally arrived we were so excited that we could have done cartwheels all the way there. That is if either one of us knew how to do cartwheels. When we walked in - late - all the good seats for spectating were taken so I took my position in an inconspicuous corner, sure I was standing, but I could see all the stations. Honestly, I had the best seat space in the house, that is, until daddy with the stroller and no apparent spectator etiquette showed up. So as you can imagine, stroller daddy came and stood right in front of me. I dashed and darted from side to side, but there was no shaking him. He mirrored my every move. He was good. So,while Axl was high flying and propelling his little body into a large pit of foam, I was playing defense, working for every sneak peek of his attempts. I might add that he was quite good, and you have to know that I teared up thinking "I'll remember this day - his first day - when he accepts his first Olympic gold medal." 


As my frustration increased, so did my exaggerated body movements which paled in comparison to my elevated sighs and huffs. The man didn't notice. I looked around. Surely someone else was catching the injustice that was being done here. If I could just make eye contact with someone then I could give them the look. You know the one that says, "Can you believe the nerve of this person?" I always respond, "I'm with ya sista" when I get the look. Where was my person? Who was with me on this? No one. No one else noticed, because they were all sitting quietly in their seats watching their gymnasts - they had arrived on time. At this point, he was stealing my joy and I had gone into the bad place. 


I left there realizing that stroller daddy was a lot like the devil. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm speaking figuratively here, well mostly. He will get in our way, mirror our moves, forcing us to play defense, unless we choose to go on the offense, which I could have very easily done by switching sides of the room. Instead, I chose to stay put, battling toe to toe with a person who had no regard for my well being. One significant difference between stroller daddy and the devil - admittedly there are many - is that the daddy didn't intend to do me harm or to steal my joy, that cannot be said for the devil. Scripture makes it clear that the devil not only means to do me harm, he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. He is constantly looking for ways to get in my path, blocking my eyes from resting on the Father in the same way this oblivious man was blocking my eyes from Axl. 


I can huff, puff, mope and moan about all the ways the devil seeks to rob me of the peace and joy that I have in the Father or I can equip myself for battle, knowing that I don't have to face him alone. I struggle with this. I am easily agitated and my reactions often times don't reflect my Jesus. My continuing prayer is that Jesus will gently remind me that the devil delights in my playing defense alone. He loves using everyday inconsiderations to mess with me and as a result rob Jesus of the Glory that is rightfully His when I react with love and patience. 


It would just be easier if Jesus could keep all the rude people away from me, but since that's currently not His plan I'm taking more deep breathes, reflecting often on James 1:19-27 , and taking a book to gymnastics tonight.


With much love,


Tonya