Going to God Not Bed

I am trying to memorize the first chapter of James. It’s my favorite book of the Bible and it’s packed with the kind of spiritual truth that a gal like me, or any gal for that matter, needs at her disposal in a moments notice. The entire book of James is the ultimate goal, but realistic is where I’m starting. James 1:2 reads, “Consider it pure joy my brothers when you experience trials of many kinds…” Now this is not Tonya kind of thinking. This can only come from Jesus, so I’ve been repeating this verse over and over.

“I see Phoebe potty mama.” Consider it pure joy.

“Mrs. Stiles, we need you to stop your work again and come upstairs to answer another question about tile.” Yes there is still endless construction in my home. Pure joy.

“The freezer stopped working and we have to throw away all of our food. Yes, even all the stuff we bought at the grocery store two days ago.” Joy? Really? Okay Jesus; Pure joy.

But today, my world and all of its minor issues piled up so fast and so high that I was buried under overwhelmed and defeat before James 1:2 could escape my lips. By the time I had a clear moment to remind myself of James' words, my joy was so depleted that this truth wasn’t making its way past my mouth into my heart. Today didn’t feel like pure joy.

I was tired and empty and I so desperately wanted to crawl into my bed and escape the demands coming from every direction. I wanted sleep to be my refuge like it has been so many times before, but today instead of going to bed I went to Jesus.

I went with tears and frustration, confusion and fear, and He met me in the midst of it. Today was not great, and it didn’t get tied up in a neat bow, but Jesus gave me the strength to endure it head on, to persevere ‘til the end.

James 1:3 continues, “because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” That’s what Jesus rained down on me today – perseverance, and on a day like today that’s exactly what I needed. 

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Psalm 30:5 For his anger endureth for a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may last for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (KJV)

So Good Nighteth to all Ye Fair Maidens. I bid you adieu ‘til morn from whence my joy cometh….I love me some King James Version.

P.S. I wrote this last night and due to major computer malfunctions and an OCD thing I got going on with the submit button, it didn't get submitted. I know now that Jesus was holding off so that this little praise report could be added.

This morning Warren said, "Man T, you were really sleeping hard last night." He had to go in last night for an emergency and I totally missed him coming home, the barking dog, the dog apparently falling out of bed from all the excitement, the other emergency call that came even later in the night, the whole bit. I was asleep in my Saviour's arms and He was giving me rest. The best rest I've had in months. Oh how I love Him so.

Maybe bed is not where you run for refuge, maybe your refuge is found at the mall, the gym, the pantry, or the TV. Maybe, prayerfully, you've discovered your refuge in Jesus and you know the peaceful rest that floods you like a tidal wave when you're nestled safely in His arms. I know that today will bring trials of many kinds and a testing of my faith. I pray for me and for you that when those times inevitably come we are reminded to consider it pure joy knowing the testing of our faith does produce perseverance. But, if the road seems to get too hard and our joy gets buried I pray we rest confidently knowing our refuge is found in Him and Him alone. I pray we remember to go to God and not to bed.

With much love,

Tonya

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

Written in part on Saturday, January 22^nd, 2011

I just finished an enormous hamburger from a well-known fast food chain conveniently located one block from my home. Before living in such close proximity to said fast food chain, it was my favorite place to get a bite on the go. Now, after four years of taking advantage of it’s drive thru temptations -not so much. Now it is the, “I don’t have the time or energy to feed my poor family anything but their charbroiled convenience.” It has become the last resort.

So today with the first week of a new semester coming to an end and a weeks worth of housework lurking in every room, a last resort effort was in order. The burger was edible, but not delicious not even good really and yet I continued to consume it with much vigor. Even after my stomach was full to the point of excess I continued to eat. I was on a mission. I was searching for one good bite - one with just the right blend off all the toppings; one good ending that would make those calories worth the effort, but it never came. I reached the end of the oversized letdown and felt unsatisfied. Oh I was stuffed to the point of sickness, but I was still empty. The burger had met my physical need, but it had not offered me anything good. That’s a lot of pressure for a burger right?

How many times have I continued down a path of indulgence or destruction, hoping that the next turn would bring some sort of goodness? In the past it looked like one more drink hoping it would distract me from whatever issue I was hoping to avoid, or the belief that another doomed relationship would finally meet my need to belong. These days the compromises are much more subtle. Hours spent surfing the entertainment pages, finding them much less convicting than Scripture or the allowance of one little sin to remain unchecked, because it makes my life more convenient. The extremes have changed but the issue is the same. Seeking to find goodness, satisfaction, or meaning in anything other than Jesus will always leave me feeling less than satisfied.

I have known the fulfilling, purposeful message of Jesus for most of my life. In fact, I don’t remember life before Him, yet time and again I have sought my own path and inevitably discovered that it left me broken and empty pleading for mercy. Please know that I walked many of those journeys while simultaneously traipsing up and down the halls of a church building. The sins of pride, judgment, deceit, wrath, and envy lead to places as dark as the sins of debauchery, drunkenness, and drugs, and they are much easier to hide. One thing I’m certain of now more than ever, however, is that there is no road so long, bumpy, or broken that it doesn’t have a detour leading directly to the foot of the cross. God is not only a God of second chances, but also third, fourth, fifth…

If you have found yourself on some treacherous, sin-laden terrain, please sweet sister know that others have stumbled down those roads before you. Know that there is redemption in the heart of your Jesus who loves you. Like the quest for one satisfying bite that never came, is the quest for meaning, peace, purpose, or joy in a life of continual, deliberate sin. Don’t take another bite. Don’t waste another moment, before you seek to be satisfied by the only One capable of handling the pressure.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 Peter 1:3-8 (The Message)

 3-5 What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole. 6-7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. 8-9 You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.

With much love,

Tonya